Boobies All Over the Place.

I watch a lot of TLC. A LOT. Mostly Say Yes to the Dress. If you've never watched SYTTD, lemme explain. It's by women, for women. Brides-to-be go to find their perfect wedding dress. Usually, they bring a group of other women to help pick it out. As a female, I think that's a terrible idea. Women can hardly handle having one woman tell them that their earrings don't match their shoes, let alone a group of women telling them that their future wedding dress doesn't look good.

I've never understood it. Why on earth would you take a whole gaggle of women with you? They're women. Every lady has their own idea of what a wedding dress should look like. An idea that is always based on what that individual thinks they would look like in the dress and what they want in a wedding dress. Not the bride, but themselves. Whether they'll admit it or not, that's how it always is.

So, let's talk about the proper manners for when you're helping your friend find her perfect dress.

1] It's about the bride. Not you. So, don't show out or any of that nonsense. The bride is suppose to be the center of attention. Don't be a spotlight snatcher. If you do anything negative like that, that's how everyone is going to remember you when it comes to the wedding. Not cool.

2] You are capable of being honest, while still being polite. It's okay to not like some of the dresses a bride picks to try on. However, don't be a butt-face about it. Think about why you don't like the dress, but also think about what you do like. Then with kind words and respect, let the bride know what you don't like and explain why. After that, be sure to point out the things you do like. Especially things that flatter the bride and help her look her best. "I don't like straps because they are fluffy and I feel they distract from your face and the rest of the dress. However, I love the way the dress itself frames your body and the sweetheart neckline."

3] It's not a competition. This one can go for the bride, too. If you have already been married or are also in the process of finding a dress, check yo' self before you wreck yo' self . You have/had your day, she has hers. It doesn't matter if someone has a better dress than somebody else. The only things that matter it that a woman looks/feels beautiful and she's marrying the man that she's meant to be with for the rest of her life.

4] SHADDUP. Nobody cares. If the bride wants a dress made by blind rats in a garbage bin, then hey, so be it. You don't have to wear it. So what does it matter? That's right, it doesn't.

Now, when it comes to the dresses for the bridesmaids, the rules change. It's still pretty much about the bride, but the bridesmaids actually have some real say in the matter. The basic rules for bridesmaids are to respect what the bride wants, even if it makes you look like an idiot. However, that doesn't mean you can't speak up. Brides, you need to respect your bridesmaids' wants and needs in the dress they'll be wearing. Yeah, it's your wedding, but your ladies' feelings matter. I'll do a series of pictures to explain.


Brides, let's say you're having the bridesmaids try on dresses and one says: "I don't want to wear this."

Instead of doing this: 

Take a deep breath and do this:

It could be any number of reasons. Some completely stupid, other not so much.
Stupid reasons:                              Good reasons:
- Color.                                         - Length.
- Beading.                                     - Fit.
- Amount of fluffy.                         - Level of comfort.
- Amount of "bling."                       - Health. 
- Amount of flowers.                                    

If a bridesmaid tries to give you one of the stupid reasons, tell them this:
"I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm not changing my entire color theme" or something like that.

If they decide to pitch a fit about it, say this:
"Look. You can either wear it or just not be a bridesmaid at all. Your pick."

Now, if they give you one of the good reasons, that's a different story. When it comes to comfort and health, you really need to take that into consideration. If your ladies aren't happy, it's going to be a big gray cloud over your big white day. Health reasons are rare, so don't worry about that happening too much. Comfort can be pretty common. If the dresses makes your ladies itch or hurt, it's going to be a problem. No one likes being uncomfortable.

The most important thing of all is to respect your bridesmaids' wishes when it comes to the length and fit of the dress. Most women don't want to look like hookers at a wedding. Even then, some women just have religious views about it or they were raised a certain way when it comes to clothing. If your ladies don't want to wear anything shorter than a knee-length or tea-length dress, don't pressure them into something shorter. If they don't want to wear something that hugs every curve and wave, don't make them. Yeah, again, it's your day. But is it really worth making people you care about, enough to call them your bridesmaids, super uncomfortable and probably none-too-pleased with you? No, it's not. It's extremely possible to find great bridesmaids dresses that look great and still fit every ones' needs and wants. Besides, it generally looks pretty tacky if your ladies are up in the church looking slutty with their boobies all over the place.

There's a lot of ways to handle the process of finding a wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses. Some wrong, some right, some iffy. You've just got to remember that polite words, respect, compromise, and keeping your mouth shut go both ways.