I want you to stay with me, forever.

With our two year anniversary being next month, all I can think about is my relationship with Boyfriend and how we got to where we are now. In the past, something like this would have made me feel all girly and stupid. I wouldn't have said a word for fear of people making fun of me. Now, I don't give a poop about what anyone thinks. So, I'm going to type our story up to present day, from my point of view.

We have no idea how we met and we like it that way. We've got it narrowed down to 8th grade English class or meeting in a hallway during high school through a mutual friend. Nothing fancy. We never really talked until senior year and even then we pretty much only used each other for flirting. That was it. No real feelings, just poking at each other and hugs.

As senior year came to close, Boyfriend started sitting at my lunch table and we became friends. At the time, I was still dealing with a Chernobyl of emotions named Justen. We had never actually been a couple. I was just head over heels for something I knew I could never have. You know, the whole "forbidden fruit" thing. So, I was working on getting rid of those feelings. Boyfriend, and every person ever alive, was well aware of that. It was no secret. It never really was, now that I think about it. 

Anyway. Boyfriend, myself, and two other boys formed a little group as we got closer to graduation. After we graduated, the four of us spent basically every single second of our free time together during the summer of 2010. As soon as we all got off work, we'd meet up. As soon as we woke up, we'd all get together. We eventually built a tree house together and turned into a pretty tight-knit little gang over the whole project. It was awesome. It's the best summer I think any of us have ever had. 

Boyfriend and I had never spent any time alone together over the entire summer. So, we never really knew each other all that well. However, as the summer went on, I found that one of top reasons for hanging out with the gang was to see him. I was still dealing with getting over Justen, so I was worried that I was rebounding  just to help myself along. I didn't want that. I didn't need another pile of emotions to deal with and it would just be rude to do to him.

So, I just did my best to keep all interactions to just the playful-no-real-feelings flirting that everyone does with everyone and hoped that if Boyfriend had any sort of interest in me that he would act upon it. However, my plan didn't work and I found myself liking Boyfriend quite a lot. As summer started coming to a close and we were all going our separate ways, Boyfriend told me he would leaving for college soon. My heart started breaking. It was then that I knew I wasn't rebounding and I really did want this boy. 

Lucky for me, he suggested that we hang out. And we did, a lot. Just the two us. We still did our normal routine, but it was different. It was more personal. We got to know each other better and better. And in turn, I fell for him more and more. It was never dates, just walking around stores together and talking. Then it came time for him to leave for college.

I was very, very upset. It was the last time we'd probably ever hang out. We said we'd keep in touch and hang out whenever he was home on break, but deep down I knew that's not how it ever works. Even so, it was a great day that pretty much turned into a date. That night, with the helpful harassing of some friends, he kissed me and it was magical. Saying goodbye that night was awful, though. Absolutely awful. 

The next few days we talked on the phone every night. That Tuesday, we had a rather awkward phone call about where our relationship stood and became a couple. Having a long distance relationship was pretty scary at first. Easier than I expected, but scary. I was always worried he was going to meet some other girl at college. It also didn't help that his dad didn't approve because he thought I was just an excuse for Boyfriend to hold on to something from home and I'd hold him back in school. We made things work, though.

Two years later, we're happier than ever and plan on getting married once Boyfriend has graduated and we're both financially independent. We love each other's families and they love us. We can work through almost any problem we have without fighting. We make each other better and put up with each other's goofs like no one else ever has. (Mostly he puts up with me. I'm difficult.) We're both virgins and are staying that way until our wedding night. And we both want nothing more than to spend the rest of our lives together.

I know this is cliche, but we're perfect for each other. Every time I see him I can't help but think how blessed I was to have been lucky enough to find my soul mate this soon in my life.

Before I get anymore mushy and disgusting, I'll stop there. That's pretty much our story with some details missing. Gotta keep it the best parts between me and Boyfriend to keep it special, you know?

I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed typing it.

Karma is a cruel mistress.

A few weeks ago I moved into my new apartment with Boyfriend, Bearded Roommate, and sometimes Puppies. (Puppies is Bearded Roommate's girlfriend.) Our previous living space was very nice, but there were a few problems. The cost was too much and living with Ginger Roommate just wasn't working. Just because you can be really good friends with someone doesn't mean you'll live well together.

Anyway, we had to go back and live with our families again for about three weeks due to the late move in date. I was the only one who had a problem with this. I moved away for reasons. Very strong reasons. Like, if reasons could have 16-packs. That strong.

Being back at my family's house wasn't all bad, but mostly because I was never there. I was with my best friend's family the majority of the time. Not to say I don't love my blood family, it's just that I spent 19 years of my life with them. Time for a break, for me and for them. What I don't love is where they live. They moved me to a giant cow field called Pike County. I don't like nature, I don't like country, and the only reason I ever owned a pair of cowboy boots was so that I wouldn't lose a toe from all the animals galloping about. PC is a place to settle down and retire. Not a place to live when you're twenty and having a family isn't even on the list of things to do. At least, from my point of view that's how it is. That's why I live in Atlanta, not Cow Town USA.

I was so very happy when I finally got to start moving my things. So very happy! Mostly because due to my tiny and frail body, I never have to do any heavy lifting. All the furniture was already there and all I have to do was bring up some clothes and a pillow. And even then, Boyfriend carried my clothes.

If you haven't figured it out, I am a child in a twenty-year-old woman's body. If you could see the way I think, it'd all look like the anime show School Rumble. Once we finished unpacking and Boyfriend left for work, I had some time to explore on my own. And by explore, I mean lurk really hard on everything through the window blinds. Even though I didn't actually leave the apartment, I became the weakly female version of Solid Snake form Metal Gear Solid. With a little Mario thrown in for kicks and giggles. So, I went into spy mode.

It was going pretty well. I was finding everyone to look pretty snazzy. Good clothes, good hair, good cars, clean. I had started at the top of my view and was making my way to the bottom when I suddenly remembered that we lived right above the pool. I almost exploded with excitement. People get so comfortable and open at pools. I would be able to hear all sorts of stories! I would get to see so many people looking so very stupid and I would get to laugh at them! It was such a glorious thinking process. I love people watching and eavesdropping on strangers. I might even get some ideas for a cute swimsuit and pick out the best place to lay out for a tan!

I immediately moved my eyes to the pool with sweet anticipation. It was such a huge mistake. As punishment for my nosey ways, the cruel mistress that is Karma filled my hungry eyes with horror. Four times in the same hour.

I had seen four different couples giving four different types of hand jobs. Girl on boy, boy on girl, boy on boy, and girl on girl. I was in so much disbelief. It was the middle of the day! Who does that? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?! I still can't believe it. After that day, it continued for a couple weeks. The only day thing after that was men having no problem playing and sucking their ladies' boobies. The rest of it happened at night. A group of homosexual boys, two girls, and a heterosexual couple were in the pool naked one night. I'm pretty sure the couple has sex. A few nights after that, a heterosexual couple was night swimming. At first it was fine, then the swimwear started coming off. Eventually, they were having rather noisy and vigorous sex. It was horrible.

That pool is a cesspool of horribleness. I will never ever get in it. There's no telling how many diseases are in there. Boyfriend said it should be fine because of all the chemicals. I'm convinced those diseases are mutated and feed of those chemicals, like some sort of STD Cafe for slime monsters who only drink chlorine.

I've decided I'm going to invest in a sniper Nerf gun and lots of ammo. I will then paint said Nerf gun black. I will channel my inner Solid Snake and snipe the heck out of anyone who dare comes near that pool after sundown. I might even add little messages on the ammo. Like: "STOP HAVING SEX!"  "WE CAN SEE/HEAR YOU!"  "MY CHILDREN ARE BEING CORRUPTED BY YOU!"

Or better yet: "Hey! Thanks for being here tonight. I needed some new pictures for my collection. Would you two mind if I could have some locks of your hair? It'll help make the experience real for me."

I'll do whatever it takes to make the horrors at the pool stop forever. If I have to pretend to be a possibly homicidal sex predator in the letters I'll send on my Nerf bullets, I will.


I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU, COLONEL. <3