I'm a front service clerk, AKA a bagger. Woo. I bag your groceries, help you out to your car, and clean freaking everything. I've been in this position for about three months now.
None of these things reflect the views of the company I work for. These are my personal views and my views alone.
1] I KNOW the cold items all go together in the same bags. Do not tell me "Put all the cold stuff together, I don't live three steps from here." Oh, really? I thought grocery stores were build inside homes. My bad.
2] If you can walk all the way to the door to return your buggy, you can walk the way THROUGH the door to put the buggy back where you got it. Leaving it literally three to five feet away is ridiculous.
3] If returning the buggy is such a hassle for you, get one of us to help you out just so we can bring it back. Leaving it in the middle of the parking lot where it's a hazard instead of putting it back in the store cart return or the one outside is stupid.
4] Same thing for mobility scooters. I understand you have problems walking and you can't help that. But you can help the fact of leaving the scooter in the middle of the parking lot. Let us help you out so we can bring the thing back for you. You're not the only person in the world who needs to use it.
5] If you can walk just fine, don't take the scooter. If you're not legally handicapped in a way that requires a scooter, don't take the scooter. If you're not injured with a broken leg or broken foot, don't take the scooter.
6] If the only reason you use a scooter is because you're overweight and lazy, don't use the scooter. Get off your butt and start taking care of yourself. That isn't healthy and you deserve better than that for yourself.
7] I cannot sell you lottery tickets or scan your groceries. My position is Front Service Clerk. I put your groceries in a bag, help you to your car, and clean. I am not a Cashier or Customer Service. It's illegal for me to do those things, I haven't been trained, and I would lose my job. Stop throwing a three-year-temper tantrum because I got someone who ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO DO WHAT YOU WANT so you don't lose any money and waste your time.
8] When you're coming through the check out line, GET OFF YOUR GOD-FORSAKEN CELL PHONE. It's rude. Plain and simple. Also, it keeps us from doing ours jobs and gets us in trouble later. Also, since you're on your phone, you can't hear us ask how you are, if you have any coupons or reusable bags, or if you'd like help out to your car. And because you don't hear us, when you finally get off your phone, you get mad because you think we ignored you, when in fact YOU ignored US.
9] If you're in the middle of the canned goods and decide you don't want that gallon of milk. Either put it back in the cooler exactly where you got it or get someone who works at the store to put it back for you. DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT put it on the floor in the middle of store. It WILL go bad and it not only costs us money, but it costs you money, too.
10] Those little plastic bars are at the check out lane for a reason. Put it at the end of your groceries. Don't get pissed off at the cashier when he/she rings up stuff that isn't yours because you failed to be proactive in separating your stuff from the person behind you.
11] If you come in to put your stuff behind another person and they haven't put the bar down, YOU put the bar down to separate. Once again, don't get mad the cashier because you were the one that failed to be proactive. A one inch gap doesn't tell where who's stuff stops and starts. We're not mind-readers.
12] Remember to have your wallet with you. We can't wait 930483029489023 hours for you to go back and get them,
13] Same thing for reusable bags. You're not the only customer in the store and time doesn't stop for anyone. If you left your bags in your car, just take plastic, let me help you out, when we get to your car I can switch everything into your reusable bags, and then take the plastic and recycle it for you in front of the store.
14] Control your freaking children. If your child isn't capable of acting properly in a public place, don't take the kid with you. Not only is that disturbing everyone else, it's embarrassing you. That makes you mad a the kid even though it didn't choose to come to the store. You made it come with you even though it was crying and stuff before hand. That's YOUR fault, not the kid.
15] If your kid was cool when you walked in then starts acting up later in the store, that's different. However, we do have a bathroom where you can take your kid and calm them down. Once again, be proactive about fixing your problems that disturb everyone else. We'll try and help also, of course. We offer free balloons in the floral section and free cookies in the bakery.
16] WE'RE FREAKING PEOPLE, TOO. If we ask you a question, ANSWER US. Don't talk to everyone except us. We're handling your food and your money. You should probably pay us attention.
17] If the register light is on, the register is open. If the the light is on and there's a customer ahead of you, the register is open. Use your freaking brain.
18] If the light is off, it's not open. If the light is off and there's a customer is there, it's still not open. The cashier is either going on break or their shift is over and the have to clock out. Both are required by law. We can't just clock in and out whenever we want. Each department in a store only gets a certain number of hours for managers to divide among the employees in said departments.
19] If I'm standing near a register, I'm not in a cashier uniform, the light is off, the "Lane is Closed" sign is clearly visible, and I'm cleaning with mop in my hand? THE REGISTER ISN'T OPEN.
20] If you buy food, eat 99% of it and then try and return it because "it didn't taste good", the entire store remembers your face and we hate you for the rest of forever. You're a a thief and a liar. Go shop at a different store.
21] If you want your stuff bagged a certain way, YOU HAVE TO FREAKING TELL ME. I'm not psychic. When I ask you, "Is plastic okay?" Don't freaking say yes when you really want paper and then get mad when I use plastic. What the crap is wrong with you? If you have reusable bags, don't FREAKING HIDE THEM IN YOUR PURSE and wait until I've already put everything in plastic to give them to me. If you have reusable bags, give them to the cashier or bagger first thing. Don't even think about putting your groceries on the belt. BAGS FIRST. If you want paper, SAY YOU WANT FREAKING PAPER. If you want certain items with others, say so. And I don't mean "cold stuff all together" sort of thing. I mean, "I want the yogurt and bread in the same bag because those are going to a different house" sort of thing.
22] We do NOT sell alcohol before 12:30PM on Sundays. Don't pitch a fit because you can't plan ahead and buy it on Saturday. Not our fault. Also, if you're in the store EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY to buy alcohol, don't pretend to not know about it. We know you know. You're not getting to buy it before 12:30PM no matter what. Not happening.
23] I don't know where your freaking car is. You have to lead me there. Pointing in some random direction doesn't help either. "My car is the black SUV." There are always at least five black SUVs in the parking lot at all times. That tells me nothing! Just walk in front of me and I'll follow you. Things get done faster that way.
24] I'm not holding your purse or wallet or payments cards of any sort. I'M NOT STUPID. There's no way I would every put my job or lifestyle at risk for a stranger. Also, I'm not freaking pushing or touching your cart out for you until you your valuables out of it and into your own hands.
25] I'm not holding your baby/child. The only time I will come into any sort of physical contact with your offspring is for high-fives. That's it. I will not escort your kid to the bathroom, to another lane, or to the car while you stay behind to talk to somebody. Your kid, you do it. Once again, I'm not stupid or risking anything for a stranger.
26] We close at 11PM. Do NOT come in a 10:55 and expect us to wait for you to shop. The last register is closed at 11:15PM at the latest and we will NOT check you out.
27] The bread is on the lane that has the giant freaking sign on it that says "BREAD."
Don't get yourself added to this list. And once again, these are my personal views and to do not reflect the views of the company I work for.
