Whenever my boyfriend and bearded roommate are at school, I can watch whatever I want. Generally, it's Toddlers & Tiaras or My Little Pony. I can't watch it any other time because they won't have any of that. Yesterday, my shows of choice were Ghost Hunters and ghost-themed episodes of Destination Truth. So, without even taking a second to consider the fact that watching 5 hours of ghosts and ghouls could have some serious consequences, I giddily jumped into the wonderful world of frights.
I had already watched Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings a couple nights before and had a pretty graphic nightmares from it. On top of that terrible choice and ignoring how my imagination punished me for it, I made yet another terrible choice. So, not even a quarter-way through my five hours of ghosts, I was already mega-jumpy. Even worse, my ginger roommate was present and my pride was forcing me from showing my pure fear.
On the outside, I was one cool cat.
On the inside, I was FREAKING THE F--- OUT.
Once my ginger roommate left to go out and have a life, I stayed put to not have a life and allowed the fear to take over. By this point, Ghost Hunters had gone off and Destination Truth was on. Also, they had already done the ghost-themed episodes and now it was just all about mythical creatures. Normally, I have a lot of fun with that. Not this time. My fear rolled-over from Ghost Hunters and injected itself straight into my love for pretend animals and turned it into sheer terror.
The worst part was when they looking for Chupacabra. My greatest enemy.
As a small child, Chupacabra was the Demon Lord and creator of all things evil in my world. If I had to choose now, he would still be the Demon Lord. Actually, I would just consider him the embodiment of everything that has ever or will ever scare me or cause me harm.
When Chupacabra reared his ugly 3-D rendered butt-face on that TV, I shrieked. I couldn't believe it. Of all the ungodly horrible creatures they could be hunting for, it had to Chupacabra.
I sat on the couch hugging a pillow and jumping at every noise for the next 30 minutes. I also spent the majority of that time trying to melt Chupacabra with my brain every time he showed up on the TV.
Much to my dismay, nothing melted or even smoked a tiny bit. I am not Matilda and I will never be able to do that.
Chupacabra had once again smashed my hopes and dreams. Smashed them into his delicious nightly protein shake made of Mexican livestock for an extra flavor boost.
Soon, I'll beat Chupacabra. I'll hunt him down and Kali Ma him into oblivion.
SOON, CHUPACABRA. SOON.
